I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
