girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
