Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
