I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Oh god it's open bar.
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