You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
