i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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