champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
