I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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