could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
