and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
