Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
