my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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