i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
