i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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