If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
