I need help removing her.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize