I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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