Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
