really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
