I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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