my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
