But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
