His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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