Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Every concussion has its silver lining
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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