the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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