I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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