i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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