Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize