They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
