OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
its liver damage thursday
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
