Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize