So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
