well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
