why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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