Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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