It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize