dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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