dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
