The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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