We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
