oh god the rape fog is back!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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