i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
