I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
