She's JV to your varsity
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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