Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
