I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
