He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
‪Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best. ‬
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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