is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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