pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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