Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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