woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
