Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
