YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i believe in u and ur pee
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
