for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we're making bets on your personal life
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
