He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
