I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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