This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
