didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
