Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize